Missing Nin Tango
by whoknowsyourfuture
Summary: Please welcome the crafty kunoichi of Konoha's Bingo Book in their rendition of the Missing Nin Tango.
Published 3/17/16

I own neither the Cell Block Tango nor Naruto. Seriously, all of Shippuden past Gaara's rescue would be way different.

* * *

Temari: Snort.

Sakura: Six!

Tenten: Thunk!

Anko: No way!

Hinata: Sairentonaifu.

Ino: Akimichi.

Temari: Snort.

Sakura: Six!

Tenten: Thunk!

Anko: No way!

Hinata: Sairentonaifu.

Ino: Akimichi.

Iruka: And now the six crafty kunoichi of Konoha's Bingo Book in their rendition of the Missing Nin Tango.

Temari: Snort.

Sakura: Six!

Tenten: Thunk!

Anko: No way!

Hinata: Sairentonaifu.

Ino: Akimichi.

Temari: Snort.

Sakura: Six!

Tenten: Thunk!

Anko: No way!

Hinata: Sairentonaifu.

Ino: Akimichi.

Temari: Snort.

Sakura: Six!

Tenten: Thunk!

Anko: No way!

Hinata: Sairentonaifu.

Ino: Akimichi.

All: He had it coming, He had it coming, He only had himself to blame, If you'd have been there, If you'd have seen it,

Hinata: I betcha you would've done the same!

Temari: Snort.

Sakura: Six!

Tenten: Thunk!

Anko: No way!

Hinata: Sairentonaifu.

Ino: Akimichi.

Temari: You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Shikamaru. Shikamaru liked to snore. No, not snore. SNORT. So I came home one day and I'm really irritated, and I'm looking for a bit of sympathy. And there's Shikamaru layin' on the couch, sleeping, and snorin'. No, not snorin'. Snortin'. So, I said to him, I said, "you snort one more time...", and he did. So I took my fan off the wall and I fired two warning shots...into his head.

All: He had it coming, He had it coming, He only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there, If you'd have heard it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Sakura: I began a relationship with Uchiha Sasuke about two years ago, and he told me he was single, wouldn't invoke the Clan Restoration Act, and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. We'd go to work, we'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out. "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he invoking the Clan Restoration Act, oh, no, he had six mistresses. 'Had to restore his clan', you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.

All: Hah! He had it coming, He had it coming, He took a flower in its prime! And then he used it, and he abused it! It was a murder, but not a crime!

Temari: Snort.

Sakura: Six!

Tenten: Thunk!

Anko: No way!

Hinata: Sairentonaifu.

Ino: Akimichi.

Tenten: Now, I'm sitting in the living room, sharpening my kunai, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Neji in a jealous rage. "You been screwin' the Uchiha," he says. He was crazy! And he kept screamin', "you been screwin the Uchiha." And then he ran into my kunai. He ran into my kunai a couple hundred times.

All: If you'd have been there, If you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Anko: What am I doing in this? They say that I'm still loyal to Orochimaru, that I helped him invade Konoha. But it's not true, I'm innocent. I don't know why the council of Elders say I did it. I tried to explain to everyone, but they didn't listen.

Karin: Yeah, but didja do it?

Anko: No way! Not guilty!

Hinata: My sister, Hanabi and I, were working on a way to remove the Caged Bird Seal, and my husband, Naruto, was helping us out. Now, for the last bit of the removal, we had to do a hundred hand seals simultaneously. Dog, Tiger, Boar, Horse, one right after the other. Well, one night we finally succeeded, and we were at the hotel Sairentonaifu, the three of us, boozin' and havin' a few laughs, when we run out of ice. So I went out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Hanabi and Naruto, doing Number Seventeen- the Tiger seal, to each other. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead.

All: They had it coming, they had it coming, they had it coming all along! I didn't do it, but if I'd done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?

Hinata: They had it coming!  
Girls: They had it coming!  
Hinata: They had it coming!  
Girls: They had it coming!  
Hinata: They had it coming  
Girls: They took a flower

Hinata: All along!  
Girls: In its prime,  
Hinata: I didn't do it,  
Girls: And then they used it,  
Hinata: But if I'd done it,  
Girls: And they abused it,  
Hinata: How could you tell me  
Girls: It was a murder,  
Hinata: That I was wrong?  
Girls: But not a crime!

Ino: I loved Akimichi Choji more than I can possibly say. He was a real gourmet guy... sensitive... a cook. But. He was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night, looking for himself, and on the way he found chips, ramen, dango, and barbeque. I guess you can say we broke up because of culinary differences. He saw himself as alive, and I saw him dead.

All: The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! They had it comin', They had it comin', They had it comin', They had it comin', They had it comin', They had it comin' all along! 'Cause if they used us, and they abused us, how could you tell us, that we were wrong?

All: He had it coming, He had it coming, He only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Temari: You snort one more time!

Sakura: Single my ass.

Tenten: Couple hundred times.

Anko: No way!

Hinata: Number Seventeen, the Tiger seal.

Ino: Culinary differences.

Temari: Snort.

Sakura: Six!

Tenten: Thunk!

Anko: No way!

Hinata: Sairentonaifu.

Ino: Akimichi.

* * *

… I have no regrets.

By the way, Sairentonaifu is supposed to mean silent knife in Japanese. Don't take my word for it, I used Google Translate.


End file.
